
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/485553.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Jake_English/Dirk_Strider, Jane_Crocker/Roxy_Lalonde, Jane_Crocker/Jake
      English/Roxy_Lalonde/Dirk_Strider, Caliborn/Calliope
  Character:
      Dirk_Strider, Roxy_Lalonde, Jane_Crocker, Caliborn, Calliope, Jake
      English
  Additional Tags:
      you'll_regret_reading_this, actually_don't_read_this_at_all
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-08-13 Words: 577
****** Interests of Disinterests ******
by Englishallelujah
Summary
     Dirk and Jake engage in their first happenings of gay love - they
     couldn't believe the feeling they would receive simply from these
     perverse actions. Roxy happily joins in their fun, along with Jane
     too! Is Jake beginning to have signs of jealousy?
Notes
     UM, DON'T HATE ME. This was collaborated upon by a number of people,
     and they did a.. TERRIFIC job if I do say so myself.
Dirk strapped on his kawaii desu dress, waiting for Jake to arrive at his home.
Jake was just expecting a normal day of friendly fun and watching movies and
bullshit like that. Little did he know that Dirk was planning to take his hairy
leg virginity; Dirk was standing in his room facing the window.
Silence filled the room and a soft breeze lifted his kilt. Jake's hairy cock
blew with his kilt, spraying piss on everything in the room.
He looked at Dirk with a large grin on his face, "Drink it." Dirk nodded to
this response vigorously.
Dirk got down on all fours, then quickly lifted his hand and began rubbing and
palming his own nipple. He only has one after a difficult rehab session with
Roxy. Jake stared at Dirk and let down a low fart from his arsehole. He
blushed. Dirk locked his lips around Jakes tight arsehole. He inhaled his
delicious methane. He let out a low moan and the gas travelled through his
body. It went straight through him so his own rectal flaps began flapping in
the dazzling fart. The sheer velocity of his assflaps sent them both into
space.
BIG SNOOP DOGGGGG.
Dirk and Jake crash landed in Roxy's massive hairy vagina. Tangled up in the
mess of pubes, they ended up being held captive my Roxy's crabs. Roxy looked
down. She was about to shove a bottle up her cunt, but now she saw the hot mess
of gay sixteen year olds beside some cute cunt crabs. She put the bottle aside.
Jane didn't get Roxy's warning on the two homosexuals in her nether regions,
she mistook Roxy's pleas to drunken slurs. She began to eat Roxy out. Suddenly,
Dirk felt a tingle in his crotch, the obvious beginnings of an erection. Jake
knew what happened whenever Dirk had a boner, SOMEONE DIED.
Today, that victim of Dirk's boner was Calliope.
Nobody cared, except for Caliborn who was more than happy to furiously
masturbate over Calliope's limp corpse. Jane felt the laxatives she had slipped
into the cake that she intended to give to Roxy. Suddenly the entire room was
flooded with her juicy shit and piss in a nice runny mixture. There was enough
sweetcorn to feed roughly 10 Ethiopian children. Roxy mistook the shit for
Reece's Pieces. She began shovelling hoards of shit into her mouth.
She suddenly realized it was shit, however she carried on eating. She'd found a
new taste to enjoy. The delicious fruity smell was turning her on. Her vagina
was leaking out fluids like a hole in the Titanic. This in turn, turned Jane
on. She began to vibrate. Dirks leaky penis started again, it sprayed out urine
all over Jane's insides. Jake stared in awe as gallon after gallon of urine
poured out of Dirk's enormous horse cock like Niagra Falls. Then Caliborn burst
in on his sister's corpse (mistake, HE WAS ALREADY THERE), and ripped out his
peppermint cock swirl.
Out of the green, the server screen went black. Jake began to get jealous of
the plethora of urine pouring onto Jane. He wanted some of that molten yellow
liquid, too. Jake dove straight for Dirk's penis, his leg hair flowing in the
current wind. He encased his lips over the head of Dirk's cock and began to
chug down the gallons of pee. The urine flowed straight down Jake's throat and
into his own bladder.
TO BE CONTINUED.
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